2010 Literary Resolution!

Although I’ve made several hopeful new years resolutions (including one about this blog), I did not make one related to reading. Jan 1 is already a fading memory, but I am only now ready to make my 2010 literary resolution. I’d like to argue that the beginning of Feb, when the new year is still minty fresh but not shiny new, is the best time to make a new year’s resolution. A brand new year, unsullied by the marks inevitably made by living through it, inspires us to turn a bunch of unrealistic hopes into resolutions. We now, in the midst of February concerns, have the ability to make more sensible resolutions when 2010 has become a dreary winter reality.

And here is a dreadful and embarrassing reality I need to come clean about: my literary backlog is so bad that it’s even worse than my email backlog.

I am simply drowning in printed pages. I have way too many books I am a partially through and many I want to begin but don’t get around to starting because I am constantly buying more books. I have erected many piles of books: there is one on my bedside table, one on the floor by my bed, another on my desk, and another one, two, three on my coffee table. Books stay on the shelves for me. The ones that became members of these nonfunctional pillars represent my delusion: they are the books I am “currently reading” or books I think I will get to soon.

So, I must put a stop to this nonsense of accumulating printed pages at an ungodly rate. Two Saturday ago, I bought my last book for awhile for my secret project no. iv. And here is my literary resolution in three parts:

1. I will read what I want to and not feel guilty about what I am reading because of what I am not reading.
2. I will not buy any more books until mid-May.
3. I will read books I own, books I borrow, and books I am given.

I hope this will help me get rid of my literary backlog by finally reading the books I’ve acquired. I am actually quite excited to finally read the books I have been wanting to read for years (for example: Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed by Jared Diamond, The Anatomy of Melancholy by Robert Burton, The Savage Mind by Claude Levi-Strauss). An added benefit, of course, is that I’ll save some money. But most importantly, I think it’d be nice to look at my shelves instead of turning my back on them constantly trying to build my library.

So the resolution is, more than anything else, a training for an attitude change. My reading pattern of constantly starting new books and being afraid of running out of pages when clearly I am not finishing all the books I own already is a manifestation of a deeper issue. I am terribly afraid of commitment. I am constantly fretting over getting stuck. These pathological attitudes keep me from being a productive and non-neurotic human being. I hope that by changing my reading pattern for a while (oh and yes, it’s temporary—you are not trapped) and committing to my current library, I will learn how to be committed to this life and myself.

Now I am not terribly worried about running out of things to read. In fact, I am pretty confident (according to my rough estimate) that I will not run out even if no one ever lends me a book. But please, I’d appreciate it if you do for that will add an element of exciting experimentation to my reading this year.

If you see me reading Jane Austen’s Persuasion, then be happy for me because I am making a dent in my literary backlog. However, if you see me reading my organic chemistry textbook, please please have pity on me and lend me a book.