It's probably a safe guess that Michael Cunningham is a Virginia Woolf fan. But I was so ecstatic when I found out that Virginia Woolf had initially titled Mrs. Dalloway, The Hours. I thought I had found some great literary gem, a gem I mostly wanted to share with Ken. But anyway, yesterday, I found the phrase, specimen days, in Virginia Woolf's published journal, A Writer's Diary. Okay, maybe I am too ignorant, or this is a sign that English is not my native language... but I honestly have not seen the phrase "specimen days" anywhere else but as the title of Michael Cunningham's book. Is it possible that he got it from v. woolf's diary? I mean it's such a poetic phrase. It certainly stands out. He probably read woolf's A Writer's Diary when he was researching for The Hours...Well, it's high plausible that he has read A Writer's Diary way before writing The Hours because he admires v. woolf. Would anyone correct me if I am wrong and that the phrase, specimen days, is actually a really common term?
Well whatever the verdict, I am always glad to think about how there are other v. woolf fans out there. It makes me feel connected to humanity or something.
26 March 2008
05 March 2008
things are not what they seem
I have this desire for the last couple of weeks to resurrect this blog. So here goes. I don't know why I don't write here more frequently. I guess in general I am trapped in a state of inaction. But other than that, I think I'd feel incredibly guilty writing here when I can use my time online to catch up with my emails and facebook messages. But I think the emails are never going to disappear and if I keep putting up the fight, I'll just go insane. So well, I think I need a break from email (not)writing for now.
I've been reading a couple of books in transactional analysis, a concept I have never encountered before. The two books are:
Games People Play by Eric Berne
I'm OK - You're OK by Thomas A. Harris.
I thought it was odd I had never heard of transactional analysis before given that I tried to familiarize myself with psychoanalytic literature in college. Okay, I am not particularly well read in that field, but still... I wouldn't have salvaged those books from a box at the Hyde Park book fair if it weren't for my high school psychology teacher mentioning those books.
And they are great! Of course given that psychoanalysis is not the hippest thing anymore in psychiatry, those books are a bit dated. The situations elucidated by Eric Berne seem a bit archaic. But the books are nonetheless irresistible. You read about each game and immediately recognize it.
I think we must be careful though. The worse thing that a reader can do is to look for the pathological game play in every social transaction, especially in the loved ones. That's why I fear recommending these books to certain people who are prone to victimize themselves in every relationship. After all, Berne clearly states not all relationships are games.
The frustrating thing about psychoanalytic literature always is that you can't prove the validity of its claims. So it's hard to know for sure if the brain before the age of 5 has recorded every parental action, words, and attitudes to create a "parent" personality in each of us. But all of the claims are so completely feasible.
Well, I don't think we should fret too much about the validity of these claims though. The take home message really is that we often play these games, which are most of the time innocuous, to fill up social time. I find that very compelling. We don't have the time and the energy to create an intimate relationship with everyone we meet. We also can't ignore the other human being who come into our social space. Hence the games. Some of the more serious and pathological games, I think, are not lost to history--a lot of the underlying issues are easily recognized, I think, by mental health professionals today. But even the pathological games end up not causing too much mess in a person's life. They more often than not get weaved into the fabric of someone's life because we are so good at finding others who will play the games we prefer.
The other take home message is of course that things are not always what they seem. Our words and deeds may have ulterior motives, which aren't always sinister. It's just that we are not always totally self-aware. So correct interpretation of intentions are always elusive.
The copies I have of these books are incredibly old. And as I read them, I often think about the previous owner. I wonder if that person also thought what I was thinking. I wonder if that person gained insight from these books. I wonder if that person ever finished these books or bought them because they were really popular in the 70s and wanted to sound smart. I like the yellowed used books. I like the history that comes with it. But it's also a bit gruesome, like digging up a grave.
I wonder if I never came across these books because they are not academic. Eric Berne and his students would be very upset, but I do think they are derivatives of Freud. I think in that I'm Ok- you're ok book, it specifically says the parent-adult-child is not a watered down version of the superego-ego-id model. But the similarities are hard to ignore. And the explicit goal in these books was to make psychoanalysis popular and easy to understand for the layman. I am not saying the books aren't profound because they aren't academic. I actually really appreciate reading these self-help books from the 70s that aren't so watered down, cheesy and flashy like the ones that are published today.
And I find it fascinating that people in the 70s read these books for fun. It's like time travel. Today, the popular sellers are the approachable cognitive neuroscience books like Stumbling on Happiness and The Tipping Point. Back then, I suppose the people were just as fascinated with the mind, but the best sellers were the approachable psychanalysis books. A couple of decades from today, people would find the experiment based cognitive psychology best sellers dated. I hope we have made some real breakthroughs about the brain and the mind by then.
I've been reading a couple of books in transactional analysis, a concept I have never encountered before. The two books are:
Games People Play by Eric Berne
I'm OK - You're OK by Thomas A. Harris.
I thought it was odd I had never heard of transactional analysis before given that I tried to familiarize myself with psychoanalytic literature in college. Okay, I am not particularly well read in that field, but still... I wouldn't have salvaged those books from a box at the Hyde Park book fair if it weren't for my high school psychology teacher mentioning those books.
And they are great! Of course given that psychoanalysis is not the hippest thing anymore in psychiatry, those books are a bit dated. The situations elucidated by Eric Berne seem a bit archaic. But the books are nonetheless irresistible. You read about each game and immediately recognize it.
I think we must be careful though. The worse thing that a reader can do is to look for the pathological game play in every social transaction, especially in the loved ones. That's why I fear recommending these books to certain people who are prone to victimize themselves in every relationship. After all, Berne clearly states not all relationships are games.
The frustrating thing about psychoanalytic literature always is that you can't prove the validity of its claims. So it's hard to know for sure if the brain before the age of 5 has recorded every parental action, words, and attitudes to create a "parent" personality in each of us. But all of the claims are so completely feasible.
Well, I don't think we should fret too much about the validity of these claims though. The take home message really is that we often play these games, which are most of the time innocuous, to fill up social time. I find that very compelling. We don't have the time and the energy to create an intimate relationship with everyone we meet. We also can't ignore the other human being who come into our social space. Hence the games. Some of the more serious and pathological games, I think, are not lost to history--a lot of the underlying issues are easily recognized, I think, by mental health professionals today. But even the pathological games end up not causing too much mess in a person's life. They more often than not get weaved into the fabric of someone's life because we are so good at finding others who will play the games we prefer.
The other take home message is of course that things are not always what they seem. Our words and deeds may have ulterior motives, which aren't always sinister. It's just that we are not always totally self-aware. So correct interpretation of intentions are always elusive.
The copies I have of these books are incredibly old. And as I read them, I often think about the previous owner. I wonder if that person also thought what I was thinking. I wonder if that person gained insight from these books. I wonder if that person ever finished these books or bought them because they were really popular in the 70s and wanted to sound smart. I like the yellowed used books. I like the history that comes with it. But it's also a bit gruesome, like digging up a grave.
I wonder if I never came across these books because they are not academic. Eric Berne and his students would be very upset, but I do think they are derivatives of Freud. I think in that I'm Ok- you're ok book, it specifically says the parent-adult-child is not a watered down version of the superego-ego-id model. But the similarities are hard to ignore. And the explicit goal in these books was to make psychoanalysis popular and easy to understand for the layman. I am not saying the books aren't profound because they aren't academic. I actually really appreciate reading these self-help books from the 70s that aren't so watered down, cheesy and flashy like the ones that are published today.
And I find it fascinating that people in the 70s read these books for fun. It's like time travel. Today, the popular sellers are the approachable cognitive neuroscience books like Stumbling on Happiness and The Tipping Point. Back then, I suppose the people were just as fascinated with the mind, but the best sellers were the approachable psychanalysis books. A couple of decades from today, people would find the experiment based cognitive psychology best sellers dated. I hope we have made some real breakthroughs about the brain and the mind by then.
21 January 2008
a plan
With so much stuff to read, I've been having a hard time reading everything I want to read. I am currently very interested in organizing my life (maybe it's the new year's thing). And in the spirit of actively and consciously making room for everything I want in life, I have tried to make at least a bit of time everyday reading a book. My goal was to read at least 50 pages/day. It's been working okay, but some books are REALLY long, and I am not very faithful to the book I have wed. I vow in sickness and in the presence other more fascinating things in my life, but I invariably end up cheating or at least flirting with another book, or two, or three.
Hence a new plan. I will read 4 books at a time. I know some people think reading too many books at once never ends well. But I think it works for me and I get to indulge myself in reading up on my diverse interests.
Roughly, the four books are chosen from the following categories:
1. a really long book that I wanna chip away at.
2. a science non fiction.
3. a social science non fiction.
4. fiction/memoir.
And the actual selected books are:
1. Einstein
2. The Living Clock
3. Culture Theory
4. The Accidental Asian
Oh and I gotta go read those Asian books that Sheenae lent me 1.5 years ago. She's coming back from Japan in a few months and I'd feel horribly guilty if I don't read those books she lent me. I have a history of not reading books Shee recommends me... but I finally read Madame Bovary, a book she recommended when we were seniors in high school, and I liked it a lot. Besides, the books do look interesting so yea, I will be reading Shee's Asian Studies book in the next few months. Now as for how I'll reconcile that with my cultural crisis and wanting to escape the Asian culture, I don't know.
Hence a new plan. I will read 4 books at a time. I know some people think reading too many books at once never ends well. But I think it works for me and I get to indulge myself in reading up on my diverse interests.
Roughly, the four books are chosen from the following categories:
1. a really long book that I wanna chip away at.
2. a science non fiction.
3. a social science non fiction.
4. fiction/memoir.
And the actual selected books are:
1. Einstein
2. The Living Clock
3. Culture Theory
4. The Accidental Asian
Oh and I gotta go read those Asian books that Sheenae lent me 1.5 years ago. She's coming back from Japan in a few months and I'd feel horribly guilty if I don't read those books she lent me. I have a history of not reading books Shee recommends me... but I finally read Madame Bovary, a book she recommended when we were seniors in high school, and I liked it a lot. Besides, the books do look interesting so yea, I will be reading Shee's Asian Studies book in the next few months. Now as for how I'll reconcile that with my cultural crisis and wanting to escape the Asian culture, I don't know.
22 December 2007
I have tried, like every other self-indulgent twenty-somethings in this country, to find myself. And the self I found turns out to be a grandma. Over the past few years, I have allowed myself to gravitate toward the things I like. And initially, the things I liked were things I approved of such as an unhealthy obsession with books and notebooks, a career in medicine, being artsy. Then they became a little funky but still nice like knitting, anthropology, and psychiatry. But over the past few months, I've become something I can't recognize. I like to take bubble baths and read in the tub. I look forward to Sunday so that I can curl up with the Sunday Times. I drink tea and light up candles. I sit in from of the TV and knit. Okay, maybe not a grandma, but definitely a middle-aged white woman I have become.
11 December 2007
15 November 2007
comfort books
I am feeling kinda bleh and the words are failing me so I am going to do a list. Oh a list of books. How fun!
When I rearranged the furnitures in my room, I put my bed up against a small bookshelf. So there's a shelf of books right by my head and I can literally go to sleep with my books. I finally picked the books to put there. I had not criteria other than to pick the books that put me at ease. I didn't pick my favorite books, per se, and there is a size limitation (no books too large would fit there), but I think I have an interesting selection.
oh.. .so the list. here goes from left to right:
When I rearranged the furnitures in my room, I put my bed up against a small bookshelf. So there's a shelf of books right by my head and I can literally go to sleep with my books. I finally picked the books to put there. I had not criteria other than to pick the books that put me at ease. I didn't pick my favorite books, per se, and there is a size limitation (no books too large would fit there), but I think I have an interesting selection.
oh.. .so the list. here goes from left to right:
- Selected Poems, Jorge Luis Borges
- A Writer's Diary, Virginia Woolf
- The Virginia Woolf Reader
- The Voyage Out, Virginia Woolf
- Mrs. Dalloway, Virginia Woolf
- The Hours, Michael Cunningham
- Reading like a Writer: A guide for people who love books and for those who want to write them, Francine Prose
- Wintering: A novel of Sylvia Plath, Kate Moss
- The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath
- Gracefully Insane, Alex Beam
- Girl, Interrupted, Susanna Kaysen
- Tender Is the Night, f. Scott Fitzgerald
- Of Two Minds, t m Luhrmann
- Complications: a surgeon's notes on an imperfect science, Atul Gawande
- An Unquiet Mind, Kay Redfield Jamison
- Prozac Nation, Elizabeth Wurtzel
- The House of God, Samuel Shem
- New Introductory Lectures on Psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud
- Final Exam: A surgeon's reflection on mortality, Pauline Chen
- Asylums, Erving Goffman
- The Living Clock, John D. Palmer
- The Development of Cognitive Anthropology, Roy G D'Andrade
- Facundo: Civilization and Barbarism, Domingo Faustino Sarmiento
- The Men Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat: And other clinical tales, Oliver Sacks
- Bedlam Burning, Geoff Nicholson
- Running with Scissors, Augusten Burroughs
- Stumbling on Happiness, Daniel Gilbert
- Labyrinths: Selected stories and other writings, Jorge Luis Borges
- Delivering Doctor Amelia, Dan Shapiro
- Group Psychology and the Analysis of the Ego, Sigmund Freud
04 November 2007
gotta have it
Yes, I got the book! Here's my latest addition to my library:
101 Designer one-skein Wonders
Edited by Judith Durant
I have wanted a one-skein knitting book ever since I realized that I am an ADD-knitter. I cannot maintain an interest in my knitting project beyond a bundle of yarn . I considered getting the classic book: One Skein since I had this insane urge to knit a cupcake and a felted handbag. But that's about all I want from that book and I knit a cupcake from an online pattern. So I ended up getting what I think is the newest and the hippest book out now about short knitting projects.
There are so many things in there I want to make. I am still a bit fuzzy on yarn weights but I now know I can get a nice skein of yarn and find something neat to make with it. I looked through about a dozen knitting books in the store and this book was the only one that had more than 5 things I want to make.
This book is one of the girly-est book I have. Well maybe tied to my shopaholic books. But the cover has pictures of cute knitted things and yarns. The pages have flowerly patterns and swirly girly fonts. And and and some of the letters are in pink. I am so in love with my girly book. ah...
As much as I like books, I usually don't buy them at full price. So I was especially hesitant getting this one since there are free knitting patterns all over the internet. But I woke up this morning feeling like I had to get this book. It was all windy, cold, and rainy outside but I felt something greater than me dragged me to the bookstore to get this book.
But I did restrain myself from getting a cute notebook I found. It was beautiful and I now regret not getting it.
These are the times when I understand shopaholics. I am lucky though since it is obviously far better to be addicted to books, notebooks, and art supplies than to be drawn to clothes and shoes or electronics. You can never have too many books and the notebooks represent possibilities.
101 Designer one-skein Wonders
Edited by Judith Durant
I have wanted a one-skein knitting book ever since I realized that I am an ADD-knitter. I cannot maintain an interest in my knitting project beyond a bundle of yarn . I considered getting the classic book: One Skein since I had this insane urge to knit a cupcake and a felted handbag. But that's about all I want from that book and I knit a cupcake from an online pattern. So I ended up getting what I think is the newest and the hippest book out now about short knitting projects.
There are so many things in there I want to make. I am still a bit fuzzy on yarn weights but I now know I can get a nice skein of yarn and find something neat to make with it. I looked through about a dozen knitting books in the store and this book was the only one that had more than 5 things I want to make.
This book is one of the girly-est book I have. Well maybe tied to my shopaholic books. But the cover has pictures of cute knitted things and yarns. The pages have flowerly patterns and swirly girly fonts. And and and some of the letters are in pink. I am so in love with my girly book. ah...
As much as I like books, I usually don't buy them at full price. So I was especially hesitant getting this one since there are free knitting patterns all over the internet. But I woke up this morning feeling like I had to get this book. It was all windy, cold, and rainy outside but I felt something greater than me dragged me to the bookstore to get this book.
But I did restrain myself from getting a cute notebook I found. It was beautiful and I now regret not getting it.
These are the times when I understand shopaholics. I am lucky though since it is obviously far better to be addicted to books, notebooks, and art supplies than to be drawn to clothes and shoes or electronics. You can never have too many books and the notebooks represent possibilities.
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